Dickinson Prose

I cannot live with You –

It would be Life –

And Life is over there –

Behind the Shelf.

Hope
Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul,

And sings the tune--without the words,

And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;

And sore must be the storm

That could abash the little bird

That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,

And on the strangest sea;

Yet, never, in extremity,

It asked a crumb of me.

My cup overflows

Oscar is gone. I named the squirrel Oscar, mostly 'cause he lived in the garbage can. I think he may have gotten thrown away. I'm hoping he just moved to a different location.

Everyone at camp assumes I am the expert on any and every single medical issue. Sometimes I say I don't know. Sometimes I just make up an answer that sounds legit. Sometimes I know the answer. But unfortunately, most of the questions or issues they have don't have to do with cervical exams or hyperbilirubenemia (jaundice in newborns). "Cheddar, why is there pus coming out of my knee?" "Cheddar, what is this rash?" "Why is my toe green?"

We have a mini petting zoo at camp. I've joined the Nature Activity the last couple of days and have learned a lot about the farm animals. For instance, goats have rectangular pupils (like an Octopus). When a goat give birth it's called kidding. "Are you kidding?" has a whole new connotation. I love it.

Somehow my junior high days have made there way into conversations at camp. Wearing mo0-moos to school, wearing a measuring tape for a belt, and of course the infamous interpretive dances. One girl almost lost it when I explained the dance Janna and I did for the talent show in 8th grade. To a song by Carmen. I was Satan. Janna was Jesus. We coerced some other girls who didn't have any friends to be our minions, the demons in the song. Needless to say, my crush, Cory Albright, did not talk to me after that 10 minute long "dance."So now the plan is for me to do an interpretive dance at some point this summer, which will always be more mortifying to me than peeing my pants on stage. What joy is mine.

I think you may be a kindred spirit, after all. I love that no matter where I go in this country or in the world, I find kindred spirits. It's so amazing to work alongside a bunch of believers towards the same end. Three weeks ago I didn't know that any of these people existed. And now I feel as though my life has been changed by them as we spur each other on towards the Lord. God is so good. I am so glad He created us to have fellowship and friends and family. I feel so rich and blessed by the people the Lord has placed in my life. What a mighty God we serve.

It’s hard to believe I’ve already been at Redwood Camp for over a week. The counselors arrived a few days ago for training and the first campers arrive this Sunday. So far it has been an amazing time of getting to know everyone on staff, cleaning and organizing the infirmary, and preparing for 10 crazymaking weeks of summer camp.

Thankfully, I have not come across any Brown Recluse spiders in my bedroom yet. Although I am very careful to check my sleeping bag before crawling into it and my shoes before slipping them on. Images of Brown Recluse and Wolf Spiders still haunt my dreams, but I can handle that. I do however have a pet squirrel that lives in the garbage can just outside my door. Each morning when I step outside, he pokes his head out and watches me walk down the porch. I haven’t come up with a name yet, but I’m thankful he hasn’t lunged for my face.

It is absolutely beautiful here in the Redwoods. There is an old train track that runs through camp and I like to go jogging down it early in the morning. A creek runs through camp, not far from my little cottage (built in the 1800s) and I wake up to the sound of running water and singing birds each day. Yesterday we woke up with the sun climbing over the Santa Cruz Mountains, one ribbon at a time, as we drove to check out some local tide pools. They say sometimes you can see dolphins and whales playing in the frothy waters from shore. We didn’t see any dolphins but we did see a plethora of sea anemones. I stuck my tongue in one. When the staff saw that the nurse survived the experience, half of them did it too. The tip of my tongue felt like it was being stabbed with thousands of needles for about an hour afterwards. It was worth it.

Last night we had a scavenger hunt downtown Santa Cruz. All of us program staff dressed up as the counselors searched for us to find clues. I wore a standard “Bri” outfit – a dress over pants and a cowboy hat. Santa Cruz is very similar to Ashland (artsy, hippies, homeless people, coffee shops), so I blended right in and the counselors had a hard time finding me. Many of them walked right past me as I sat against a wall, near some homeless people, reading poetry and drinking coffee.

Missions and Africa are very heavily on my mind these days. I’m reading through Deuteronomy now, which is the book we read the summer I spent in Benin, West Africa. I don’t want to make any rash decisions just because of some recent disappointment and heartache in my life. But I also don’t want to live an unlived life. I’m tired of living in fear and anxiety that I’m making all the wrong decisions with my life. I want to be wholly available to the Lord, no matter the cost. I’m learning that it’s a good place to be – this uncertainty of what’s next for me, but a steadfast certainty of who God is and what He’s doing.